It's Always Sunny Except Sometimes It's Not

 It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is one of the longest-running live sitcoms on television, and for good reason. They've put out so much great content over the years. But also some stuff that just did not land. Today, we're going to celebrate and criticize Sunny's first 16 seasons.

SEASON ONE

That's right, the season that doesn't have Frank in it. The show was going to be canceled unless they could get a big name for season 2, and they managed to get Danny Devito.

This season seems like a completely different show from the rest of the series. It mainly consists of Mac and Dennis constantly trying to get some, Charlie being the only funny character, and Dee being ... there.

The best episode? I'm going to say ... Charlie Gets Molested. It sets up beloved returning characters like Mrs. Kelly and Uncle Jack, and of course the rivalry with the McPoyles. One of the things I love about this show is that so many characters you think will be one-offs continue to appear throughout its entire 16-year run. 

The worst? I don't know. Possibly The Gang Finds a Dead Guy. Like most season 1 episodes, it's about Mac and Dennis trying to get some, but this time they are totally Evan Hansening a woman whose grandfather died in the bar. At least this episode may have inspired a successful ... problematic ... musical.

SEASON TWO

Yay! Frank! This is such a great season, where the show finds its legs. From the addition of Danny Devito, to Dee actually getting to be as funny and depraved as the rest of the gang, to taking their shenanigans out of just the bar.

The best episode in this season is Hundred Dollar Baby. I love the episodes where Frank and Dee team up, whether it's to get married so they can inherit a house, to attempt to run for office, or to turn Dee into a champion boxer. Up to this point, Dee had been the straight person in the show, because I think the three male writers decided there needed to be a woman there but was not sure what she would do, other than possibly be the voice of reason. In this episode, Dee becomes hooked on steroids in an absolutely hilarious montage that makes you realize her character's potential.

The worst, I'd say The Gang Exploits a Miracle. And it's not even a bad episode. It even sets up Mac's paranoid religiousness and of course starts the downfall of Cricket. It's just ... a little mean-spirited is all.

SEASON THREE

There are a few more duds in this season, but still some good stuff. My favorite probably being the two-parter The Gang Gets Whacked. In season 2, Dee tricked Cricket into leaving the priesthood, but in season 3 they get him addicted to cocaine and kick off the Cricket-is-homeless storyline. In season 4, they hunt him for sport, eventually they set him on fire, it just keeps getting better and better.

But there are some characters they introduce in this season that do not land. We have Sweet Dee's Dating a Retarded Person, which I can't believe is still streaming. We have The Aluminum Monster Versus Fatty Magoo, a painfully unfunny episode. And we have The Gang Gets Held Hostage, maybe the dumbest episode outside of one I'll get to later. Who decided Margaret McPoyle was a good idea?

SEASON FOUR

We're back again! This is overall a really solid season. You're probably guessing I'm going to say the best episode is The Nightman Cometh, but that's beaten out for me by Dennis Reynolds: An Erotic Life. Every character gets to be hilarious in this episode. From Charlie and Dee switching places, to Frank and Mac going to ridiculous lengths to legitimize Dennis's self-congratulatory memoir, to Dennis's bizarre fever dream about Sinbad and Rob Thomas, it's glorious. 

The episode I'd skip? The Game Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition. It's uncomfortable seeing them exploiting this family, and it's pretty racist. They will (try to) make up for this in season 15.

SEASON FIVE

Yes! Another great season. Two of my top 3 episodes are in this season. Including the most perfect episode of television ever, after the Simpsons Rosebud. The Waitress Is Getting Married. This is Charlie at his best. Every line in that episode makes me smile.

For the worst, we have Mac and Dennis Break Up. It's a pretty unfunny episode about Mac and Dennis temporarily ending their friendship, something that worked much better in season 11's Mac and Dennis Move to the Suburbs. And they're so mean to Dee in this one. And ... shoving a bunch of cats in her wall and also killing a bird? As an animal lover, doesn't sit well with me.

SEASON SIX

Meet the Ponderosas! This is overall a mediocre season.

It starts out pretty strong, with the introduction of returning characters Bill and Maureen Ponderosa (why did they kill off Maureen?). There is another character that just kind of bombs in the episode The Gang Gets a New Member. We get some great episodes like Mac's Mom Burns Her House Down, which establishes the partnership of Mrs. Mac and Mrs. Kelly, and Who Got Dee Pregnant, which would be my pick of the season.

Worst episode, I'd say a Very Sunny Christmas. Do you think it's funny to see Danny Devito crawl naked out of a couch? Do you think it's funny to see Charlie ask a mall Santa "Did you **** my mom" before beating the **** out of him? If you do, maybe this episode is for you, but it's sure not for me.

SEASON SEVEN

Famously the season of Fat Mac, it's overall good, but it has its ups and downs.

We're introduced to Chardee MacDennis, the Game of Games (great). We're introduced to Frank's Brother (not great) and their shared love Shadynasty (even worse). But the episode I always skip is The Gang Gets Trapped. There's not anything funny about seeing them terrorize a family for a couple hours and destroy a child's toy.

SEASON EIGHT

A pretty good season! But also with one episode I never want to watch again.

Charlie's Mom Has Cancer tops my list here. Charlie pretended to have cancer in season 1, and now his mom is doing the same thing, for a different reason, and does it so much funnier. Mrs. Kelly and Mrs. Mac are so funny, they should use them more.

The bottom episode of the entire series is Charlie and Dee Find Love. This is the episode that makes it look like Charlie's stalking of the Waitress is ok, not only that, but she depends on him stalking her, and he turns down a chance at an actual relationship to continue to stalk her. Cannot overemphasize my hatred for this episode.

SEASON NINE

This might be the best season of the show. We are entering the golden age of It's Always Sunny.

There are so many amazing standout episodes, but they start out so very strong with The Gang Broke Dee, possibly the funniest Kaitlin Olson has ever been. A quote from this episode was my Tinder profile back when I was on Tinder.

But so many episodes deserve shout outs - The Gang Tries Desperately to Win an Award (fantastic meta episode), The Gang Saves the Day, Flowers for Charlie, Mac Day, I'd watch any of those over and over.

For the worst episode, I'm going to just say The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 6, but I have no familiarity with Lethal Weapon and wouldn't get any of the jokes.

SEASON TEN

Another great season. Again starting out strong with The Gang Beats Boggs. In addition to being hilarious, this show sets it up for Dennis to be separated from the gang for a while when he gets off the plane in North Dakota while they continue to California. They would reveal at the end of season 12 that he had fathered a child in North Dakota, because Glenn Howerton was going to leave the show to do A.P. Bio. I'm not sure if they planned this that far ahead, but I'm guessing they did. A.P. Bio, of course, wasn't very successful, so Dennis was only in North Dakota for the majority of season 13.

The worst episode would be Psycho Pete Returns. Like Fatty Magoo or The Gang Gets a New Member, they bring in a never-mentioned character from the gang's high school days that is not funny at all. I guess Cricket is kind of funny in that episode. It's the first time we see his face following them setting him on fire.

SEASON ELEVEN

Really, really good season. We get a sequel to Chardee MacDennis. We get a flashback to season 2 when Frank loses his memory. Mac and Dennis Move to the Suburbs is the funniest work Glenn Howerton has ever done on the show.

The only episode in this season I dislike is The Gang Hits the Slopes. I think this is trying to make fun of some genre I'm not familiar with, but, yeah, I don't get it.

The last two episodes, The Gang Goes to Hell Part 1 and 2, angered a lot of people because Mac comes out of the closet immediately to go back in. But, the show will make up for that later.

SEASON TWELVE

Old Lady House, where there are no laws, Old Lady House, they're in menopause, Old Lady House you'll never be alone

Some of the minor characters get to shine in this season. Mrs. Mac and Mrs. Kelly get their own reality show. Cricket gets a full episode. Maureen Ponderosa gets one too, well, she dies in it. 

Worst episode I'd say is Dennis's Double Life, where we find out about his North Dakota kid. I thought he was leaving the show. I think everyone did.

SEASON THIRTEEN

The weird, weird season! The episodes are all out of order. It starts out with a very cringe-worthy episode where Mac gets a sex doll that looks just like Dennis, they make you believe that Mindy Kaling is replacing Dennis, but then Dennis actually shows up at the end and says, sometimes I'll be here, sometimes I won't. I can raise a kid long-distance.

(The kid is never mentioned again after A.P. Bio fails. RIP Brian Jr)

So that means we get a lot of episodes without Dennis. And it's all out of order. In episode 1, Charlie and the Waitress (who had gotten together at the end of the last season) break up. In episode 9, they're together. In episode 3, Dee runs into the Waiter, who says he waited on them at the Super Bowl. But that doesn't happen until episode 9. It's never explained why Dennis didn't go to the Super Bowl with the gang and Mac was filling in as the leader, so I think that's before A.P. Bio was canceled. And in the iconic season finale Mac Finds His Pride, it's odd that Dennis isn't there. They mention at some point, this is a disaster, Dennis was supposed to drive the float but he's claustrophobic, or something like that, but he never actually shows up in the episode.

My top episode of this season is The Gang Wins the Big Game, as it brings together so many of the minor characters you didn't think you'd see again and it's such a feel-good episode. But you kind of have to mention Mac Finds His Pride. Making up for the end of season 11, and also possibly for the fact that his homosexuality had just been a joke for years, they end this episode with a beautiful, heartbreaking sequence where Mac comes out to his dad through dance, and his dad rejects him. Mac sobbing while his fellow dancer tells him it's ok, the looks on everyone's faces, Frank saying, "I get it, I finally get it," it's incredibly moving and pretty much a genre shift for the show.

The worst episode? I've blocked it out of my mind, I didn't get all the way through it. The Gang Escapes. I have misophonia and Frank's loud gum chewing was the B plot, and, I just couldn't.

SEASON FOURTEEN

This is the season I bought in its entirety so that I could watch my third favorite episode of the entire series, and I regret nothing. The episode Dee Day has been a comfort for me in hard times, and as it was pulled from streaming, you have to buy the whole season if you want to see it.

This is also the season that ages up the gang. They finally acknowledge they're in their forties, and their adventures are of a different sort. Such as the episode where Mac tries to teach everyone how to text message. 

This season feels different in that there are more episodes written by writers outside of the original three, including female writers, and several of them tackle issues like global warming and abortion, but manage to do it in a humorous way. Overall it's a fun season.

The final episode, Waiting for Big Mo, is very meta. It's basically Dennis and Charlie sitting out during laser tag and chatting. They say at one point they don't know why they still do this, that maybe they've been owning the game for so long they should give up. But when the rest of the gang shows up, they reaffirm they will be doing this forever. Waiting for Big Mo is not very funny, but if you can find the outtakes online, they're actually pretty hilarious.

SEASON FIFTEEN

Another WEIRD season.

Only 8 episodes long, it starts out SO strong, with 2020: A Year in Review and The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 7 having me in stitches. The Gang Makes Lethal Weapon 7 is also a meta episode, with the gang going overboard to apologize for using blackface in previous parodies. But in episode 3, they nosedive SOOOO hard with The Gang Buys a Roller Rink.

I cannot tell you how bad this episode is. For one thing, it was supposed to take place 20 years ago but doesn't try to age down the actors. For another, the flashback undoes everything we know about the characters. For yet another, there's a VERY disturbing scene between Dennis and Frank and a lady of the night.

In the following episode, Dee is emotionally abusive to her acting students, a monkey mouth-rapes all the guys, and Charlie vomits on the bar, and that's STILL not my least favorite episode of the season. That's how bad Gang Buys a Roller Rink is.

But, then they go to Ireland. And stay there for the last four episodes. The Ireland episodes aren't good or bad, they're fine, but the whole thing with Charlie finding his lost father makes NO SENSE. For one thing, his mother and her brother both have the name Kelly, I guess it's a common name, but that he can read Gaelic but not English and has had a pen pal for years? And in the finale when they drag his corpse up the mountain they're trying to give Charlie the emotional moment Mac got in season 13 but it. Does. Not. Work.

SEASON SIXTEEN

Overall a pretty funny season. You'd think of course the episode with Aaron Paul and Bryan Cranston would be my favorite, but I'm not biased, and while they were very funny in that episode, the B plot with Frank and Dee flying around in a plane for some reason just to make the end of the episode happen did nothing for me. I'd say my favorite was Frank Shoots Every Member of the Gang.

The season ends with Dennis Takes a Mental Health Day. I think this was trying to do for Dennis what they did for Charlie in 15 and Mac in 13. But, again, it doesn't work very well. We miss the other characters. It's a comedy. It should be funny.

Anyway, Philadelphia is a land of contrast. And now you know my loves and loathes of one of my favorite shows.

Cinderella Stories

 When I was in high school, I had the unfortunate experience of being in the musical "Cinderella." You know who she is. She's someone who's tormented and lonely for no reason, despite secretly being the most beautiful girl in the kingdom. Some mice make her a really nice dress, and she becomes a princess.

Cinderella stories are kind of a trope. The plain, overlooked girl somehow becoming the object of everyone's desire. Sometimes because she changes something slightly about her appearance, sometimes ... just because. It seems like a lot of writers want to create a female lead who is a loser, but at the same time there can be nothing wrong with her, and it doesn't really make sense. 

This has been parodied by the movie Marge and Lisa Simpson see together: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zm8sfVbKUUY

And of course, there's Peter Griffin explaining the law of 80's movies: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QDPJQJ3a6kI

There are plenty of modern Cinderellas, and here we shall discuss four of them.

4. HERMIONE GRANGER -  THE HARRY POTTER FRANCHISE

Aw, shucks, Hermione doesn't have any friends at all! Then she makes friends with Harry and Ron, who don't even realize she's a girl! But then in the fourth book, she uses magic to straighten her "bushy" hair and do something about her teeth, and goes to the ball with Viktor Krum. The book, which is written from Harry's perspective, I think says something like "Viktor Krum had an incredibly beautiful girl on his arm that they didn't recognize." Well, dang, this girl who was supposed to be a loser ended up being incredibly beautiful, because they can't actually have a non-beautiful girl as a main character. Also, Harry and Ron don't even recognize their best friend because ... she straightened her hair ... but now she is like catnip to them, and others. I think in the seventh book she goes as Ron's date to a family wedding and Ron's aunt says something like, "She's pretty, but he has skinny ankles."

Okay, first of all, that's not a thing. This book was written by a woman, and she couldn't give Hermione any actual flaws, so skinny ankles are a thing. I'm reminded of a really, really terrible episode of Bob's Burgers where the reason Tina is an outcast is because of her skinny legs. So she puts on a Thanksgiving musical about how it's okay to have skinny legs and borderline molests her likely brain-damaged crush, Jimmy Jr. I wish I were kidding, but that is a thing that happened, and we all have to come to terms with it.

Hermione started out as an outcast, but it was determined that she had to be perfectly feminine and beautiful in every way and end up with one of the main male characters. Her only flaws were her intellect and activism. More characters like that later.

3. BEVERLY MARSH - THE IT FRANCHISE

Oh, what to say about Beverly. I mean, what CAN I say about Beverly that would keep this blog PG.

Beverly is a loser. She's the only female member of the Losers Club from Stephen King's classic book and two miniseries adaptations. 

Why is she a loser? It's never made clear. She just is, ok? But also, she's gorgeous. Her hair is winter fire, January embers, and your heart burns there too. In the book, all 6 of the other members of the Losers Club fall for her, ending in a gang-bang of a bunch of 11-year-olds, and, again, I wish I were kidding. In the book, though Beverly is a loser, Stephen King constantly describes how attractive she is, to the point it gets weird. She's also a perfect shot and saves the day multiple times, like so many a Hermione before and after her. She's a loser and also a goddess. Can we not have ... just a normal, relatable female character? Was King overcompensating for having only one female character, our of the seven members of the Losers Club? Sometimes people just don't know how to write for females.  More on that later.

2. DIANE NGUYEN - BOJACK HORSEMAN

Here we come to a deeply flawed Cinderella.

Like the character who will be my #1, Diane sabotages so many chances of happiness because she is an egomaniac who cannot admit that she is. Like Hermione, like Beverly, Diane was bullied by all the mean girls at school, but ... why? She's portrayed as very attractive and smart. We never know the reason that any of these characters were tormented, other than, well, it's a trope. As an adult, Diane has two major celebrities in love with her, and she leads them on and strings them along for all she's worth. She even sits by without much comment when they very overtly fight over her.

Even after she's left her husband, Mr. Peanut butter, she knows that she could sleep with him any time she wants, and does a couple times. She also hits on BoJack at one point, and he turns her down because she's been drinking, maybe one of the most decent things he's done on the show. But he retains a deep, deep dependence on her for the rest of the series. It seems all the men around her do.

Diane's problem, though, is that she believes that she is a Cinderella and needs to be special, needs to be the smartest person in the room. This causes two breakdowns. The first is when she decides to go to a war-torn country and make a difference, only to find out she can't handle it. The second is when she attempts to write her autobiography and realizes she doesn't have the "good damage" she thought she had, and doesn't really have anything that poignant to say. This sinks her into a spiral where she's forced to accept that she might just be a normal person, and she might need to write things that are not about her. Luckily, at that point, she has a supportive boyfriend who loves her but doesn't ooze with worship like Mr. Peanut butter and BoJack did (and he loves Chicago! and he's voiced by Lakeith Stanfield!) so she works her way out of it.

When I first watched this show, I hated Diane during the first season. But by the time we get to the last episode, with her final conversation with BoJack, I'm crying. Trust me. I still cry.

1. LISA SIMPSON - THE SIMPSONS

But Mandie, you say, you love The Simpsons. You are made out of Simpsons.

Yes, I am. I can still criticize something I love.

Lisa is the most inconsistently written Cinderella on this list.

I kind of considered including Meg Griffin on this list, as they also can't seem to pick a lane with her. Either she's a disgusting monster who can't get a guy to look at her twice and practices kissing with her brother or with possums, or, she has banged everyone in town and has abortions on a regular basis. I'm reminded of my #2 recalling her childhood torment and saying, "They called me a virgin whore and I asked how I could possibly be a virgin and a whore." Meg was the result of a male writing staff not knowing how to write for a teenage girl and picking whatever lane worked for the current joke. But, she doesn't count as a Cinderella. Most people get with her out of desperation. There were a few nice-seeming guys that dated her, like that Amish guy who chose Amishness over her, the handsome prince who was immediately shot by Stewie, the guy on the cruise ship who was immediately beheaded, the normal-seeming guy who then made out with her mom, the prison escapee didn't seem too bad ... no, Meg doesn't make this list. Shut up, Meg.

But Lisa sure does. 

It's hard to judge whether any of the Simpons are supposed to be attractive, because, I mean, they aren't drawn like humans. Marge is supposed to be incredibly, incredibly hot, but what of Bart and Lisa. There's an episode where they realize they don't have hairlines and they freak out. 

Ever since "Moaning Lisa," her thing has been that she's incredibly sad and has no friends. They revisit this in other episodes like "Summer of 4' 2" and the abysmal "Lisa Goes Gaga" when she is voted the least popular kid in school.

But, when the plot needs it, she has a friend named Janey. This is usually something like Bart asking where Lisa is and Marge saying, "She's at Janey's, so you need to clean this up yourself."

And, every male character within her age range is in love with her. Milkhouse, Nelson, Martin, Ralph, and every one-off male character in her age range who ever shows up on the show. The kid from the La La Land episode. The kid from the Hemingway episode. The kid from the Simpsons Movie. The kid who wanted to be a competitive eater. Every. Male. Character. Loves. Lisa.

And here's another case where they can't pick a lane. Either she's the least popular person in the entire world, or she's the most celebrated. And, because she is, like my #2, an egomaniac, she doesn't handle the celebration very well.

In the majority of the flash forward episodes, Lisa ends up with Millhouse. That used to always bother me. I hate the "if the nice guy is persistent, he'll always get the girl" plotlines. But, on my most recent watch-through, I noticed Lisa strings Millhouse and Nelson along to the same degree that Diane strung along Mr. Peanut butter and BoJack. The most egregious instance might be the episode where Millhouse gets a girlfriend, and Lisa starts stalking them out of jealousy. Millhouse says, in maybe one of the most affecting lines he's ever said, "You don't want me to be with you, you don't want me to be with anyone else, how miserable do I have to be before you're happy?"

Lisa's ego also means she cannot stand to be one-upped by anyone. When another girl gets first chair saxophone, she has a meltdown. When she finds out Maggie's IQ is slightly higher than hers, she runs away from home. Even in the Family Guy crossover episode, Lisa decides to find something that will make Meg feel better about herself, but when it turns out Meg is talented at the saxophone, Lisa tells her it would be a shame to waste such nice butcher's arms on a musical instrument.

Is Lisa an outcast, or the most desired pre-teen in Springfield? Is she compassionate, or an egomaniac? In conclusion, Lisa Simpson is a land of contrast.

Oh, and screw Flanders.